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SPENCER COUNTY DISPATCH

502-477-5533

OR 

 TAYLORSVILLE POLICE DEPARTMENT

 502-477-3231

502-477-5533

  SPENCER  CO.  SHERIFF'S  OFFICE

502-477-3200

OR

502-477-5533

KENTUCKY STATE POLICE

1-800-222-5555

EMS AMBULANCE

911 OR

502-477-5533

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                                       Domestic Violence

DOMESTIC DISTURBANCE  IS ONE OF THE MOST COMMON CALLS FOR POLICE, IN FACT THERE ARE PROBABLY MORE  DOMESTIC COMPLAINTS THAN JUST ABOUT ANY OTHER CALLS. POLICE  DISLIKE THESE MORE THAN MANY OTHER CALLS, BECAUSE THEY ARE THE OUTSIDER. IT DOESN'T MATTER THAT THEY ARE THERE TO KEEP YOU FROM BEING BEATEN OR KILLED. ( WORSE YET, YOUR CHILD BEING HURT ). 

WHEN THE OFFICER  ARRIVES, NO ONE WANTS THEIR SPOUSE TO BE MANHANDLED, OR CUFFED.  WHEN THE OFFICERS ARE DEALING WITH ONE PERSON, THE SPOUSE CAN INTERFERE QUITE STRONGLY SOMETIMES.  THEN IT CAN ESCALATE TO A MORE VIOLENT CONFRONTATION. 

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ISN'T JUST BETWEEN HUSBAND AND WIFE. IT CAN BE BETWEEN BROTHERS, SISTERS, UNCLES, AUNTS. IT CAN BE BETWEEN LIVE-INS, PEOPLE WHO HAVE CHILDREN IN COMMON, ETC.

THERE WAS A TIME WHEN POLICE USED TO GO TO A DOMESTIC DISTUBANCE, AND SEE SIGNS OF  A PHYSICAL FIGHT. EITHER THE WIFE WAS BLOODY, OR MAYBE SHE HAD A BLACK EYE, OR FURNITURE THROWN ALL OVER THE PLACE.  THE POLICE WOULD ASK IF EVERYTHING  WAS OK.  THE WIFE ( IF SHE WAS THE BATTERED ) STATED THAT EVERYTHING WAS FINE. SHE MIGHT FEAR HER SPOUSE, AND WAS AFRAID THAT WHEN THE POLICE LEFT, SHE WOULD BE BEATEN WORSE.  THE OFFICERS KNEW THAT IT WASN'T FINE, BUT THEY HAD NO RECOURSE BUT TO LEAVE AFTER WARNING THE SPOUSE CONCERNING HIS BEHAVIOR. 

TOO MANY TIMES THE POLICE WERE CALLED BACK AND FOUND THAT THE WIFE WAS UNCONSCIOUS, OR WORSE.  IT WAS TOO LATE TO HELP HER NOW.

TODAY THE KENTUCKY  LAW  READS THAT IF AN OFFICER IS CALLED TO A DOMESTIC FIGHT / ARGUMENT, AND FOUND PHYSICAL SIGNS OF VIOLENCE, AND THEY BELIEVED THE RELATIVE WAS THE PERPETRATOR, THEN THE OFFICER  SHALL ARREST THE ABUSER.

THERE ARE DIFFERENT BELIEFS AS TO WHY A PERSON BATTERS. SOME SAY THAT IT IS JUST BECAUSE A PERSON IS MEAN SPIRITED.  SOME SAY ITS BECAUSE OF ALCOHOL. ANOTHER VIEW   IS THAT A PERSON WAS ABUSED WHEN THEY WERE YOUNG.

WHATEVER THE REASON, IT IS A VOLATILE TIME FOR ALL... THE VICTIM, THE POLICE, AND EVEN  THE ABUSER, (SHOULD POLICE GET TO A SCENE AND HAVE TO TAKE STRONG ACTION.)

                                                             THE CYCLE

THERE IS  A CYCLE TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.  THOSE WHO SERVE THE PUBLIC KNOW ABOUT THIS  CYCLE, AND IT IS PASSED ON MOST OF THE TIME TO THE VICTIM.   IT IS ALWAYS AMAZING THAT  THE VICTIM CANNOT BELIEVE, OR REFUSES TO BELIEVE THAT THE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE  IS NOT SOMEHOW BECAUSE OF SOMETHING THEY HAVE DONE.   NO MATTER WHAT A PERSON DOES OR SAYS, THERE IS NEVER A REASON OR EXCUSE FOR PHYSICAL OR MENTAL ABUSE.  WALK AWAY BEFORE IT GETS TO THAT POINT. IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU ARE RIGHT OR WRONG... WALK AWAY.

LETS LOOK AT THE CYCLE FOR JUST A MINUTE AND WE CAN SEE HOW SOME MIGHT BELIEVE IT WILL GO AWAY.

THERE IS BASICALLY A TIME OF TENSION, WHEN ARGUMENTS AREN'T QUITE SERIOUS, BUT  MANY TIMES, IT IS KEPT INSIDE THE PERSON, WHO FAILS TO TALK ABOUT HIS ISSUES.    THEN SHORTLY AFTER THIS PERIOD, YOU WILL FIND THAT THE VERBAL ATTACKS INCREASE. NOW ITS NOT JUST ABOUT ISSUES, BUT MANY TIMES THE PERSON ATTACKS THE INTEGRITY OF THE OTHER. NAME CALLING, BELITTLING, CURSING AT THE OTHER, THINGS LIKE: " WHY ISN'T MY DINNER READY", OR "CANT YOU KEEP THOSE KIDS QUIET" , ETC... VERY CLOSE TO EXPLODING.

THEN COMES THE EXPLOSION CYCLE, WHEN A PERSON HAS LET IT BUILD UP INSIDE FOR A WHILE, AND  A VIOLENT OUTBURST HAPPENS, WHEN  A SLAP, OR SHOVING, OR EVEN HITTING WITH SOMETHING  TAKES PLACE.  

ALL OF US HAVE SENSED A TIME WHEN WE ARE ABOUT TO "LOSE IT", BUT THE DIFFERENCE IN US IS  THAT WE DO NOT FOLLOW THROUGH ON OUR FEELINGS, LIKE THE ABUSER DOES. IN MY OPINION AS WELL AS OTHERS, IT IS A SICKNESS THAT NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED AND TREATED  BY A PROFESSIONAL.

AFTER THE EXPLOSION, THERE IS A  PERIOD OF REMORSE, OR FEELING SORRY THAT THE EXPLOSION HAD HAPPENED.  THE ABUSER TRIES TO JUSTIFY HIS ACTIONS, BY SAYING THINGS  LIKE: " IM SORRY I HIT YOU BUT YOU PUSHED ME TO THE POINT..."  AT THIS TIME THE ABUSER PROMISES THAT IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN. HE ASKS FORGIVENESS, HE MAKES PROMISES.  HAVE YOU EVER HEARD ANYONE PROMISE THAT THEY WILL CHANGE? THEY MAKE A PROMISE TO GET COUNSELING AND GO TO CHURCH OR WHATEVER.  THE ABUSER KNOWS JUST WHAT YOU  WANT TO HEAR. 

THE NEXT STEP IS CALLED A HONEYMOON STAGE,  WHEN EVERYTHING IS GOING SMOOTHLY. FLOWERS ARE BROUGHT, AND FOR A WHILE, THE ABUSER TRIES TO LIVE UP TO WHAT HE HAS PROMISED.  IT SEEMS THERE ARE NO PROBLEMS BECAUSE HE HAS "REPENTED" AND IS DOING  OK. NOW THIS IS THE ONE YOU MARRIED. THE OTHER ONE WASN'T.

THAT IS THE CYCLE.  IT BEGINS... OVER AGAIN. NOW THE CYCLES ARE BECOMING CLOSER TOGETHER. YELLING, EXPLODING, HITTING, SORRY, HONEYMOON. KISSES, KISSES.  THEN AGAIN AND AGAIN.

IF YOU ARE BATTERED, YOU CAN LOOK BACK AND REMEMBER THAT IT IS SO. THE VIOLENCE BECOMES MORE VIOLENT. THE HONEYMOON STAGE IS GREAT, AND THAT IS THE TRICK. YOU BELIEVE HE CAN CHANGE, AND YOU DON' T WANT  HIM TO BE ARRESTED. YOU LOVE HIM. 

BY NOW, THE ARGUING, AND THE HITTINGS ARE RUNNING TOGETHER. THERE IS NO HONEYMOON STAGE, JUST VIOLENCE.  IT IS PAST  TIME TO GET HELP FROM A COUNSELOR. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE... AS WELL AS THE LIVES OF YOUR CHILDREN.

MANY PEOPLE HAVE IDEAS OF HOW ABUSE STARTS, BUT IT ALWAYS HAS CYCLES TO IT. CLOSER AND CLOSER TOGETHER, AND WHEN IT DOES GET TO THE POINT OF SERIOUS PHYSICAL INJURY   TO YOU OR YOUR FAMILY MEMBER...YOU MUST GET OUT.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT WHETHER OUR NOT  YOU CAN MAKE IT ON YOUR OWN. THERE ARE AGENCIES TO HELP. YOU WILL MAKE IT. PLEASE... FROM POLICE AGENCIES, AND SOCIAL AGENCIES ACROSS THE COUNTRY. GET HELP FOR YOU BEFORE ITS TOO LATE.

YOU  CAN MAKE IT... YOU WILL MAKE IT. IT JUST TAKES THAT FIRST STEP  ( WHICH  IS ALWAYS   THE SCARIEST ),  BUT  POLICE ARE THERE TO HELP YOU MAKE IT.  CONTACT THEM OR THE AGENCIES IN YOUR AREA.

                                  

BELOW IS A LIST OF CENTERS AND SERVICES TO HELP YOU DURING A VERY DIFFICULT TIME IN YOUR LIFE.  MOST HAVE  LOCAL OFFICES IN YOUR AREA.

                                      

ABUSE AND PHYSICAL ASSAULT SERVICES

BLUEGRASS RAPE AND CRISIS CENTER                                                                502-226-1400

CENTER FOR WOMEN AND FAMILIES                                                                     502-581-7200

CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES                                                                               502-595-4550

CRIMES AGAINST CHILDREN UNIT                                                                           502-574-2465

CRISIS LINE                                                                                                             800-656-4673

NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE                                                              800-656-4673

ALCOHOL, DRUG AND GAMBLING ABUSE

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS                                                                                     502-227-4729

MADD VICTIM CRISIS HOTLINE                                                                                 800-944-6233
SEVEN COUNTIES SERVICES                                                                                  800-432-9337
CHILDREN AND FAMILY SERVICES
BIG BROTHER / BIG SISTERS                                                                                   800-201-8797 
CHILD HELP USA                                                                                                      800-422-4453
GIRLS AND BOYSTOWN NATIONAL HOTLINE                                                            800-448-3000 
NATIONAL CENTER FOR MISSING AND EXPLOITED CHILDREN                                 800-843-5678
SUICIDE PREVENTION
BLUEGRASS  REGIONAL MENTAL HEALTH                                                               800-928-8000
SEVEN COUNTIES SERVICES INC.                                                                            800-432-9337
WOMEN'S SERVICES
CENTER FOR WOMEN AND FAMILIES DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE                      877-803-7577
CENTER FOR WOMEN AND FAMILIES ( SHELBYVILLE KY HOTLINE )                        502-633-7800
NATIONAL CENTER FOR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE                                          800-799-7233
70 Taylorsville Rd        Taylorsville, KY 40071       Phone:  (502) 477-3231         Fax:  (502) 477-3231